Halloween Horror Marathon 2012: "Don't come any closer!!"

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

It's down to the wire! I'm sure at this point that last year's record will go unbroken for now, but there are still a few more days left in the month. And frankly, I've got no reason to stop now...even after watching Frogs. I miss the days of Blood Monkey...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• And no David DeCoteau movies!

Let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes this time...

1. (69) The Gate - Fear geodes!! Seriously, this is like every parents' absurd, nightmarish myths from the '80's put on celluloid. Did the PMRC have something to do with this...? Alternate title: Dorff does Demons.
2. (70) Black Sunday - ...is that...? She seriously looks IDENTICAL to a girl I know...
3. (71) Hunger - JOHNNY, NOOO!!!
4. (72) The Manster - Time-traveling William H. Macy becomes a horrible two-headed man-ape...and it's beautiful.
5. (73) The Cabin in the Woods - FUCKING BUY THIS!!!
6. (74) Blackout - Trapped with an asshole...
7. (75) Intruders - How'd this float under the radar? Oh, yeah...studios' unwillingness to compete with shit like Saw or Paranormal Activity...
8. (76) Attack of the Puppet People - No, I HAD to watch this...Yes, it was underwhelming and the title was a lie. But I wouldn't know that if I didn't watch it, would I?
9. (77) Kill, Baby...Kill! - I got in a lot more Bava movies this year...worth it!
10. (78) Nightmares - Poor kid...it'll be years before she knows that what she saw isn't how sex works at all...That's gonna take a shit-ton o' therapy...
11. (79) Halloween Night - Subtlety, thy name is unfamiliar to "The Asylum"...
12. (80) Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 - This is it! I put this off until now to see if this truly sucked, or if my younger self had blown this movie completely out of proportion...19 yr. old Marques didn't know a lot of things. He didn't know what major he wanted to pursue in college. He hadn't fully realized how shitty Limp Bizkit was, or that Metallica was never going to be a good band again. He never picked up on the hint that the girl in the library had a bit of a crush on him. He had no idea that he would come to love film, and study it at every available opportunity. He still thought the first Mortal Kombat movie was pretty good. Simply put, 19 yr. old Marques was wrong about a lot of things. He was not wrong about Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2.

Well, that's it for the 2012 run? How about that? 27 short of last year's results, but let's be fair here. Last year, I wasn't both working AND taking part in a production that consumed 2-hours of my night/energy. Plus, I watched all of these movies in the span of 2 days! I'd say making it to 80 movies under those circumstances is still pretty good...

Shut up. Let me have this.

Seriously, she looks EXACTLY like a friend of mine. It's eerie.

The number is never what's important to me in this process anyway. What matters is what I take away from the movies I did see, and there is plenty to take from the bundle I watched this year. Generally, I can apply certain observations to films across the board but others really only apply to the horror genre. For example:

• You can gauge the quality of a film by the director's need to get a tit in the shot
• If there's a zombie-killing bad-ass in your movie, fuck you
• Crispin Glover needs to make better choices (Okay, this one is a little more broad)
• Zombies are not and NEVER will be a decent allegory for race relations
• Too many movies center around people wholed up in a room somewhere arguing over what to do
• If your idea of snappy and clever dialog is references to current pop culture, then you've achieved neither

I could go on, but that's all I can remember off the top of my head. Maybe I should jot all of these thoughts down for posterity. Then again, the thought of doing that makes me wanna apply the same approach to another genre 'cause that's gotta have some crossover as well as new insights. I don't know...still undecided on that idea or the genre, but in the meantime, here's a quick review of Abduction (2011). I'm not sure why I watched it either. At any rate, I'm on break for another 332 days unless a wild hair crawls up my ass. Later, folks and thanks to those who helped out.