It's down to the wire, and I've put more time into this than I have making a costume. But what can I say, really? This is, honestly, far more fun than it should be and I'm starting to think that 100 movies is attainable. It's also just as informative as I thought it would be because I love observing cliches. The best way to upend expectation is to know what's expected. Plus, seeing this many horror movies is enough of a confidence boost to make me believe I could make my own. Or, at least steer one in the right direction...which is to say, as far away from anything resembling John Boorman's film of Exorcist II: The Heretic as possible.
So, let's get into it. My rules are still simple:
- No prior knowledge
- No investigation into a title
- Never seen it or haven't seen it recently enough to form an opinion
- Once the opening credits start (or the equivalent amount of time has passed), there's no turning back...
- (68)Red State - A genuinely admirable effort from Kevin Smith. Unfortunately, it's also aimless and messy...
- (69)Blood Monkey - Underwhelming, beat-by-beat modern-day creature feature, but I couldn't stop laughing. F. Murray Abraham's performance has convinced me that he and Christopher Lloyd should do a movie like this together...
- (70)Monster - It's the Cloverfield knock-off that you could make if you had 5 minutes...and access to a basement...and one light. ONE!
- (71)Backwoods - It seems like every other movie is a straight-faced remake of Mother's Day. Seriously, there are so many movies with the premise of inbred Hillbillies killing and raping people that they could start their own anti-defamation league...if one of them ever went to college...
- (72)The Ward - Having seen as many John Carpenter films as I have this month, I can say with certainty that this doesn't feel like a Carpenter movie at all.
- (73)The Ugly - Censorship could explain why most of the blood in this movie is black, but it can't explain why the movie is so fucking boring...
- (74)Isolation - A plague of puppet parasites...
- (75)Grizzly Rage - I get that your cousin's band needs the promotion, and they're great, but where are the bear attacks? Oh, and I'm lying. The band sucks.
- (76)Don't Look in the Cellar - ...or at this movie. Although, this just might be the most comically inept movie I've seen in years...and I've seen The Room AND Birdemic: Shock and Terror!! So maybe you should watch it...
- (77)Noriko's Dinner Table - I don't think this movie would bother me if it wasn't unjustifiably over 2 hours long...
- (78)Terror Vision - A thoroughly '80's movie that wears the decade on its Dayglow sleeve while swimming in a pool of New Coke...as it listens to Winger...while Rocky IV is playing on TV...
- (79)The Inheritance - Eww. That's your cousin, dude...
- (80)Madhouse - I'm not quite sure what just happened...
- (81)Ferocious Planet - "SyFy Presents..." FUCK!!
- (82)Hellevator: The Bottled Fools - It's good to know that Japan can make movies that look this shitty too! And I appreciate your punny title...but nothing else.
- (83)Killer Movie - If this movie made a decision on whether it was a horror film or a comedy, it probably wouldn't fail so miserably at both...
- (84)The Monster That Challenged the World - ...to Love.
- (85)Walled In - Aping the creepy nursery theme from Nightmare on Elm St. will only turn me against your movie...
- (86)The Keep - Slo-mo, blue filter, synth music...this is definitely a Michael Mann movie.
- (87)The House Where Evil Dwells - This movie has TWO of my biggest pet peeves in movies: bad martial arts and character stupidity that points straight to shitty writing. If not for the animatronic crabs and laughably unthreatening ghosts, I'd hate this movie.
- (88)Open House - Other than an appearance from Adrienne's Barboobs, there is nothing unique or memorable about this movie.
- (89)Exorcismus - Not too bad. Not exactly a worthy contender for The Exorcist, but certainly better than Dominion...
- (90)Puppet Master - This movie feels like a decent concept that wasn't thoroughly fleshed out or executed. In other words, the kind of movie you SHOULD remake as opposed to A Nightmare on Elm St..
- (91)Dead Snow - Underdeveloped, unrealistic, and unlikable characters vs. Nazi zombies...or Zombie Nazis. If they were members of the National Socialist party BEFORE they died, which one is the right term...?
- (92)Them - Hey, remember The Strangers? Well, France did it better...
- (93)From a Whisper to a Scream - There goes my theory that Vincent Price can do no wrong...though it's really not his fault at all.
- (94)Raw Meat - Another tard in the tunnels movie. Certainly creepy in its own right, but needs more Donald Pleasance!!*
- (95)The Descent part II - I'd shoot this Sheriff...The deputy? Ehhh....
- (96)8213: Gacy House - I can admire the committment to realism given the material, but not much else...
- (97)Them! - Though sensiblities are completely different today, this is definitely worth a look.
- (98)iMurders - Billy Dee Williams pops up in this "thriller" propelled by remedial modern culture...
- (99)Night of the Scarecrow - That is the goofiest face I've seen in a while...
- (100)Henry: Portrait of a Killer - I feel a bit dirty...and that's a good thing.
- (101)Theater of Blood - I wonder how this would pan out with an under-actor...
- (102)Creature - A knock-off of Alien, which in and of itself is unremarkable as there are A LOT of Alien knock-offs. But how many have Klaus Kinski in them...?
- (103)The Absent - Is this movie crediting every single person that individually...? Holy shit, it is!!!
- (104)The Bleeding House - You know what's boring as fuck? Murderous religious zealots...especially since they won't shut the hell up...
- (105)The Devil Within Her - That we live in a world where this movie exists honestly makes me smile...
- (106)Mutants - A running zombie movie where the "zombies" don't show up until the 3rd act. Well past the point I stopped caring...
- (107)New Year's Evil - I couldn't have picked a better movie to end with if I tried...and that theme song is awesome!
Well, I've certainly learned a few things from all of this. And while compiling a lists of cliches and overused scares, lines, set-ups, and fake-outs would be really easy at this point, I'd rather end on a more appreciative note. I didn't initially set out with this goal in mind. But with Netflix at my disposal and friends who were all willing to help, I realized that a movie a day would've been too easy. Still, you guys made this even easier and fun. You know who you are...Thank you.
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| HUGS!!! |
On to the next challenge! Now, I can finally read John Dies at The End, sort out the social life, and maybe even clean my apatrament. But for now, I've got a movie about a gorilla trained in Kung Fu to watch...Later!
*-- I apply that line of thinking to a lot of movies...except Pumaman. That needed less Donald Pleasance...
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