WHERE THE F*#K DID THE TIME GO!?

So, I just looked up and realized that I haven't written a single entry on this blog for almost 2 years. Somebody's gonna have to fix that...

I guess you think that means me, huh? Fine...

This calls for a bit of an update to get anyone reading this back up to speed. Unfortunately for me, that's a LOT of ground to cover that doesn't have nearly as many pictures as most of the people I know would've hoped. Sorry...

This looks way more condescending than I hoped...

First off, hello from behind The Great Firewall!! As I type these words, I'm sitting in a teacher's office for an ESL center. That's what I'm doing these days: Teaching absurdly energetic kids how to gradually speak English. The work is as rewarding as it is exhausting, but I'm really not here to talk about my job. Boring people do that.

My job is mostly making this face at whatever a kid just did.

Halloween Horror Marathon: Once more...Into the Breach!!

It dawned on me recently that after 5 years in a row of marathon-ing several hundred horror movies, I haven't actually taken the time to parse through the load and point to the ones worth recommending. So as I sit through Scream 4 again (which would never be on any such list if I'm writing it), I'll also take a minute to look back on the years past for the best (or, let's be honest, passable/watchable) movies I experienced. Let's get underway, shall we?

1. The Sentinel - This was the first decent and creepy movie I saw, and I really can't think of anything bad to say about it.
2. The Fog (1980) - You could do A LOT worse, and that's why it gets a recommendation.
3. Prince of Darkness (John Carpenter) - A solid enough effort from Carpenter that's completely under the radar and worth a look for the uninitiated.
4. Graduation Day - Watch this for an appearance from a young Vanna White.
5. R.O.T.: Reunion of Terror - This movie gains a recommendation solely because of how fucking stupid it is...
6. Five Across the Eyes - This movie is an endurance test. Scratch that. It's THE endurance test! If you can make it to the end, you're ready for anything.
7. In The Mouth of Madness - Another little-known title from John Carpenter that deserves a viewing.
8. Trick 'r Treat - Far from flawless, it's still a valiant effort.
9. Hell Night - This movie introduced me to a new favorite slasher movie character in the proto-William Zabka form of "Seth." That guy made the movie for me.

   

   And ladies...what's left of him is single...
   

Halloween Horror Marathon 2015: Jigsaw is Full of S#!%

Many things have been said about the Saw franchise over the years, but the one thing that's always been a problem for me is this simple fact:

Jigsaw is just a sanctimonious hypocrite of a shit-lord that should and could have been shot in the face in the first movie.

And that's the least of this series' litany of extremely convoluted issues. Does this cancer-riddled prick own an entire warehouse district? Are we really to believe that this half-dead douche and a couple of petty sociopaths were able to set up this many "traps" in advance? How the hell are ANY of these people managing to afford the equipment necessary to construct these traps? On whose salary? The cop!? Get the fuck outta here...

I had a sneaking suspicion that the Saw franchise might have had a more noticeable issue that applies to many movies in the horror genre, but memory of the middle block of the series was fuzzy at best. There's only one way to solve that problem...

1. (103) Saw II - Right outta the gate, you've got no justification for or feasible solution to the situation that this first guy has been placed in. Basic premise lost in the opening.
2. (104) Saw III - Well, I guess that makes the two guys from the first movie pretty stupid.

   

   "Refresh my memory: Am I appreciating life enough or is it these other guys?"

3. (105) Saw IV - Are we just gonna admit at this point that Jigsaw has access to the scripts? What's that in your hand, Tobin?
4. (106) Saw V - Jigsaw saying that "Killing is distasteful" has got to be the most hypocritical statement ever made.

   

   "'Killing is distasteful!?' Shit! How am I supposed to get outta this....?"

5. (107) Comforting Skin - Mmmmm, potatoes, huh?  Can I get mine with a side of passive aggression, honey!?
6. (108) Archivo 253 - Jeez, you just couldn't wait to ram that night-vision into our face...
7. (109) Let Us Prey - As if cops don't come off bad enough in this genre...
8. (110) The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death - "Stop being horrible!" shouted a little girl who seemed to be trying to warn me about what I was to see...
9. (111) Joyride 3: Roadkill - Meth-addled sex is the scariest thing in this.
10. (112) Tormented - Creepy Rabbits are magic...but first and foremost, creepy.
11. (113) Hollows Grove - You can't put Mykelti Williamson in the opening of your found footage movie! Then Lance Henriksen shows up later too!? *sigh*

    

    And no portion of your soundtrack should come from a band like this one.

12. (114) Skew - "I don't know, man. It's the same shit." Indeed it is...
13. (115) The House on Sorority Row - Any prank that involves a gun is probably not gonna be funny.
14. (116) Sorority Row - Can't decide if these movies hate Greek Life (which is fine by me) or just don't understand pranks...
15. (117) Wes Craven's New Nightmare - Stop hanging up on everybody, Heather! Damn...
16. (118) The Descent - Finally, a reason to not be mad at Lion's Gate!!
17. (119) Out of the Dark (1995) - Chinese ghost possession seems way more fun in general.
18. (120) Mulberry St. - Rat-faced zombies...
19. (121) The Human Centipede 3: The Final Sequence - A franchise determined to disappear up its own ass.

    

    The only reaction Tom Six's desperate attempts to shock deserve.

20. (122) Neverlake - But...she didn't deserve that...
21. (123) Dust Devil - Like a vacuum...because it sucks.
22. (124) High Lane - I cannot believe this song is an element at play here...
23. (125) Infernal - This is going full-Cloverfield right away...Not the best sign, especially given that the writing has an undeniable misogynist bent.
24. (126) Paranormal Haunting: Curse of The Blue Moon Inn - The laziest found-footage movies don't offer explanations for how or why cameras are set up. This is the laziest.
25. (127) Haunted House: Demon Poltergeist Attack - This may confirm that Brits are the WORST at making found-footage movies. Unless this was supposed to be comedy. Then, top marks, mate!
26. (128) Find Me - Bursting out laughing at the opening scene is always the best sign...
27. (129) The Disembodied - Oh no...Not Full Moon!! And directed by Charles Band!? God.......damnit.
28. (130) The Gingerdead Man - Recording Gary Busey on a given weekend excursion is no different from this opening...

    

    The hell do you mean this got sequels....?

29. (131) Kristy - You don't even have to ask who hurt this writer...
30. (132) Evil - Budget didn't include actual fish, huh? This does not bode well....

So, the Saw series has a fairly common handicap found in horror franchises as suspected. The longer a series tends to last (or if a series is established at all in some cases), the more likely it is that the villain(s) of the series will take center stage. This is how Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, and the like have become icons of the genre. The problem with this should be obvious though: Horror icons become parody because of this. Horror movies are about what happen to people. So, focusing on the characters doing the killing only reduces the effect of the film. You wanna create a true horror icon? Make a movie that effectively and legitimately scares viewers! No, not 90 minutes of watching unlikeable people sleep until a loud noise happens or you go the route of a screamer video on Youtube! Create a sense of dread! Build atmosphere! And for fuck's sake, STOP TRYING TO IDENTIFY WITH THE KILLER. YOU JACKASSES!!!!

*sigh*

Got that off my chest....

Ending on a bit of a whimper this year, but that's entirely the movie's fault. Well...that's not entirely true now that I think about it. After all, life really decided to be a major impediment to the viewing process. Power outages, internet signal drops, my Playstation dying, my TV dying, and THE BIGGEST FLOOD TO HIT THIS SECTION OF THE SOUTHEAST IN AGES!!!!!
Let's just say the marathon was an uphill battle this year. However, not totally discouraging. Even with every conceivable roadblock and impediment, we managed 132 movies. That's only 8 shy of last year, so setting a new record is possible even while working and juggling personal relationships. Besides, you don't watch The Gingerdead Man and call it quits on horror. It can't all be for nothing...

Til next year!

Halloween Horror Marathon 2015: Does New World Pictures Even Exist Anymore...?

Everything in Hell is apparently dicks. I don't mean jerks, by the way. According to the Hellraiser movies, you won't find that dog that was mean to you that time in middle school. We're talkin' literal phalluses. Phalli? Phallossus? Did that sentence even make sense?

I hope not because that would make it that much more like the Hellraiser franchise. Very few horror franchises can or will leave you with the incomprehensible NEED to say at multiple points in time: "What in the fast-fuck is this convoluted nonsense!?*" And trust that there is a legitimate reason for that which speaks to a fundamental problem with the franchise. Specifically, that it shouldn't even be a franchise.

The movies themselves can inform you of that fact, but more on that later.

Halloween Horror Marathon 2015: Sequelbatin'

Certain things are starting to stick out in the marathon this year. Found-footage still hasn't fully dissipated as a sub-genre yet, but then there's the litany of tropes as per usual. This isn't a bad thing, but what is? Desperate attempts to subvert tropes, that's what!

Rules are made to broken, as that particular cliche goes. This only becomes an issue when the desire to "shock" overtakes good storytelling. For the sake of remaining as "spoiler-free" as possible, I won't cite direct examples here. But the long and short of it is this: The attempt to surprise the viewer with every plot development or sequence only sets a tone which makes the viewer try to stay a step ahead of your story. We're not dumb, and we'll be right more often than you think.

Alright, the rules barely apply anymore. There's no point in reposting them. Let's Rock!

1. (35) The Blood Lands - Soccer hooligans are the worst...
2. (36) The Pact 2 - Just once, I want the frightened person running out of a house with a knife to stab the house.
3. (37) Devil's Backbone, Texas - You've just been ZAPPED!
   

Halloween Horror Marathon 2015: Thank you, Wes...

Here we are at year 5 of this annual endurance test. That really crept up on me. Half a decade!

It's dawned on me that each time I make it publicly-known that I'm watching something for the marathon, there's always the question of why do this to myself. Not the marathon as a whole, but rather an individual movie. So, allow me to provide the only answer that ultimately makes any sense:

Because it exists and I haven't seen it.

That goes for pretty much everything I watch in October (DeCoteau can still go to hell though). The experience doesn't fully work if you discriminate, and you never know what may surprise you (except David DeCoteau--He'll never surprise you with anything other than a different branch of terrible). So, no matter how bad you might assume or already know the movie to be...I generally give it a shot if it fits these criteria:

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• No David DeCoteau movies

Then I write up a reaction, micro-review, or any given thought of what I saw. That's usually how this works...except this year. This time, I'm being a little more lax on the rules because we lost an icon of the genre.

Now, it doesn't seem to matter as much if I've seen certain movies. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) deserves a viewing, and there's no better way to kick things off than with...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2014: I'm Usually Out of Clever Titles by Now...

This is a first. Every other year, the 3rd entry meant the end of the run had arrived and I was wrapping things up. Yet, here we are and I've already got a few more entries to add. At this rate of expansion, there's honestly no telling where I'll stop. I'll try to be reasonable though.

Huh...Not really sure what to say now. This has never happened before. Uhhh...

Who wants a hug...?

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• No David DeCoteau movies
• And...*The Netflix Roulette Gambit* - After 10 movies, give the wheel a spin. Whatever unfamiliar title it lands on, I have to watch it

Where we'll stop? Nobody knows...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2014: Horror Soundtracks in Broad Daylight are Just Awkward

Man, this is nuts!! Just past the halfway point of the month, and I can guarantee that last year's record will be broken. And I haven't even had to fall back on Youtube or Hulu yet!!

It's becoming more widely known amongst people that know me that I do this every year, and the result is that many have and will make suggestions. I *LOVE* this!! It means that the people reading this are paying enough attention to know what titles are most likely unfamiliar to me! It means that people are reading this shit!!!! I can't thank you enough if you are. Keep those suggestions coming, and don't be afraid to go mainstream. Most of this stuff no one's ever heard of outside of the production teams that made it and no longer talk about it until a relative asks about "that movie you guys were making" at the Thanksgiving table--where all regrets resurface.

Exhibit A. The shame is palpable...

Anyhoo, let's get into it!

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• No David DeCoteau movies
• And...*The Netflix Roulette Gambit* - After 10 movies, give the wheel a spin. Whatever unfamiliar title it lands on, I have to watch it

Let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes this time...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2014: Wait, Who the Hell is Filming THIS!?

One week into October, and we've got 35 movies under our belts. And along this road to self-discovery, I've learned that jump-scares only make me blurt out laughter. I've also learned that IFC Films has been putting in a LOT of work in the horror genre, and the results are about exactly what you'd expect. Every studio that gets into horror movies is bound to have an output that pretty much reflects the genre as a whole. A few winners but a shit-loads of losers. I'd say that makes them a pretty solid addition of the fold. Welcome to the party, guys!

As this journey continues, ideas are hitting me for future endeavors as far as reflections on this genre are concerned. Yes, I will definitely compile lists of the best and worst. Yes, the best list will include ironic choices to be enjoyed with family and friends. But the biggest undertaking may be another year away. Stay tuned for that one. In the meantime, a quick reminder of the rules...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• No David DeCoteau movies
• And...*The Netflix Roulette Gambit* - After 10 movies, give the wheel a spin. Whatever unfamiliar title it lands on, I have to watch it

Let's hope this website doesn't make me hate it enough to punch it in its nonexistent face...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2014: I stand before you a man transformed...Mostly because I'm sitting.

So, 3 years and running, and I have to say that I've learned a thing or two to show for it all. Let's just say that my sensibilities and grasp has definitely expanded. The truth is every single one of these movies from best to worst has been and can be fun. Not in a "Wait until I get _____ to sit through this shit" kinda way (that I reserve for Tyler Perry movies), but as an experience. It is what you make of it, and while I definitely won't recommend EVERYTHING I watch (If you're a single woman that lives alone who would watch The Sentinel with OR without me, I might marry you), I will say that you can enjoy yourself with the right approach. Bear that in mind as you power through the coming list as I powered each of these movies. The rules are as always...

No Prior knowledge of the movie

No investigation into the movie

I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion

Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...

And, of course...No David DeCoteau movies

This year, however, I'm adding a NEW rule...which is starting to seem like an annual thing. I promise it's not, but with the introduction of Netflix Roulette into my world, how could I not put this to use in this setting? So, I've decided that for every 5th movie (or 10th, depending on my progress this go 'round) I will give the Roulette wheel a spin. If it lands on something I've never seen within 3 tries, I'll watch it. So...

• The Netflix Roulette Gambit - Whatever unfamiliar title it lands on, I have to watch it

Alright, here we go.

If you know where this comes from, I'm sorry. I know. I saw it too...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2013: This is No Place for Techno Music...

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

So, the last movie I watched as of the moment I'm writing this was edited like a 90's sports reel...

I've got nothing to add to that. I just want you to be able to imagine what I'm sitting through sometimes.

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion*
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• And, of course...No David DeCoteau movies

The first year I did this, I watched the original Maniac, a movie Gene Siskel tapped out on in disgust. Recently, the remake was added on Netflix. And by that I mean very recently, as in a couple of days ago. Will I watch it? Well, obviously the answer's "yes."

Halloween Horror Marathon 2013: Just ONCE I'd like for "SOMEBODY!!" to ACTUALLY Help...And for it to be a Complete Stranger that Shows Up Out of Nowhere

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

It HAS dawned on me that this process may be slowly driving me insane. Don't let that go ignored. I'm also pretty sure that "Hillbilly Torture Chamber" could be a good band name which also may or may not be an indication of my mental health. That said, I've noticed the trend that a considerable number of the movies I've seen this year have claimed to be based on or inspired by "true events." I won't say which ones, but I do feel like I should expand upon why that irks the hell outta me...

It's a fuggin' lie.

Yeah, I doubt it...

Yeah, I'm not gonna get into a lengthy diatribe or nuanced dismantling of the term. I don't have an hour and neither do you, so let's get on with the rules.

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion*
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• And, of course...No David DeCoteau movies

After doing this for 2 years straight, the trickiest part of this whole process for me is finding things I haven't seen. This is why I've watched so much crap from the past couple of years. I fear this experiment may have peaked early...in terms of film quality. I'm not stoppin' until this legitimately breaks me, and I DON'T GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!

Halloween Horror Marathon 2013: "I don't understand...WHAT'S out there, Rachel!?!?" - Is it too soon to use "Re-Bloodening" again...?

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

So, here we are in the lovely month of October yet again. That, of course, means a revisit to everyone's favorite genre: Horror. I know, I know...It's not really everyone's favorite, but it is the one I hear most often referred to as someone's favorite. But why is that? I think it's because the horror genre is such a far-reaching form of narrative that's ultimately about "what happens to people." And that can be revealing in so many ways...as well as make it ripe for conversation.

So, why am I doing this...?

I dunno. I forgot. Wasn't I supposed to write a retrospective on Scream...?

The rules are simple! And yeah, I am definitely keeping the added rule from last year if I can help it...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• And finally...Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• No David DeCoteau movies

Well then, let's get started! Full disclosure: I watched the first movie on this list a couple of nights early. I had no choice though since Netflix was yanking it on the 1st, but I did plan to watch it first months in advance. And that movie is...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2012: "Don't come any closer!!"

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

It's down to the wire! I'm sure at this point that last year's record will go unbroken for now, but there are still a few more days left in the month. And frankly, I've got no reason to stop now...even after watching Frogs. I miss the days of Blood Monkey...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• And no David DeCoteau movies!

Let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes this time...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2012: "Why are You Doing This...?"

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

If I keep this up, I think I'm gonna start titling each one of these blogs a cliched line from the horror genre that needs to never be written or uttered again. I cannot tell you the number of times I've heard a marginally talented actress pose that same question to some husky dude in overalls, flannel, or a jumpsuit. It's kind of a pet peeve now because one thing I know for sure is that there is no worthwhile answer to that question in the first place (nevermind the fact that it rarely even gets a response - making the exchange pointless). A window into the mind of the monster ruins the mystique, and the unknown is what fuels horror. And if Rob Zombie understood that, his movies wouldn't suck. I'm getting sidetracked...

The month of October continues, and so too does the marathon. For this round, I'm gonna pack in as many movies as I can find on Netflix alone with the word "zombie" in the title. I'm betting I'll hit at least 20, but there's only one way to find out. In any case, the same rules apply...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...
• And no David DeCoteau movies!

Let's get started. I've got a lot of arguments in bunkers/basements to get through...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2012: It BEGINS AGAIN!!!

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

It's that time o' year again, and by comparison I'm actually behind by a few days. Nonetheless, let the horror movie marathon begin!!! Last go'round, I made it to 107 movies in a single month. This year, I hope to exceed that number but I'm not deluded. I know what that entails, so clearly my lowered standards are about to make a "triumphant" return. The rules are as simple as ever...

• No Prior knowledge of the movie
• No investigation into the movie
• I have to have never seen it OR not seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• And finally...Once the credits start (or I pass the 1:30 min. mark), there is NO TURNING BACK...

This year, I have only ONE additional rule...

• No David DeCoteau movies...Don't ask. If you don't know, just don't...

What will follow are immediate responses, overviews, and/or mini reviews of the movies I watch for the purpose of keeping track of things as well as expressing my feelings on what I just saw as succinctly as possible. With that said, here...we...go!

Halloween Horror Marathon 2011: Night of the Blood House of Skulls in the Mouth of Hell of the Dead II: The Re-Bloodening

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon this year, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

It's down to the wire, and I've put more time into this than I have making a costume. But what can I say, really? This is, honestly, far more fun than it should be and I'm starting to think that 100 movies is attainable. It's also just as informative as I thought it would be because I love observing cliches. The best way to upend expectation is to know what's expected. Plus, seeing this many horror movies is enough of a confidence boost to make me believe I could make my own. Or, at least steer one in the right direction...which is to say, as far away from anything resembling John Boorman's film of Exorcist II: The Heretic as possible.

So, let's get into it. My rules are still simple:

• No prior knowledge
• No investigation into a title
• Never seen it or haven't seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the opening credits start (or the equivalent amount of time has passed), there's no turning back...

I just realized the best part of this is no one knows what applies to what but me...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2011: "You guys...This isn't funny."

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon this year, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

So, at some point in the middle of Maniac!, I stared deep into the craggy face of Joe Spinell and a thought flashed into my head. Can I watch 100 horror movies in one month? I think the answer is "yes." This is a completely reachable goal with the stipulations I've already set for myself...

• No prior knowledge
• No investigation into a title
• Never seen it, or haven't seen it recently enough to form an opinion
• Once the movie's opening credits start (or the equivalent amount of time), there is no turning back...

Obviously, standards of selection just took a punch in the dick. I haven't found the movie to break me yet, but the month isn't over yet...

Halloween Horror Marathon 2011: It Began on The 6th of October...

*Note*-- As a lead-in to my annual October marathon this year, I am re-presenting my "journey" up to this point as I hunt for as many horror movies I can watch in a single month for the 4th consecutive year...

Horror movies don't tend to get much attention throughout the year. You may see the occasional release in the summer or the odd December release in theaters, but generally speaking, it seems as though the genre is ignored until October rolls around. I can't lie. I'm a little guilty of this too. It's not that I don't pay attention to horror movies at all, but they definitely take a backseat to other genre indulgences. That's why I think of October as an "appreciation month." It also doesn't hurt that it's the one time in the year when you don't have to work so hard to convince most people to watch a horror movie.

I have a completely unfounded theory. I think that a greater understanding and appreciation of film as a narrative medium begins with horror. Beat changes, pacing, characterization, setting, lighting, the use of sound and music -- Every major element of a narrative film is essential to an effective horror film, and more exposure gives the viewer a better grasp of what makes a movie work. This isn't a thesis, so don't expect a defense or anything. I'm just saying that I can see what clicks and what doesn't, and I owe that to watching a metric shit-ton of movies with the words "Dead," "Blood," and/or "Night" in the title. That's why (aside from Halloween) I love October. Through this self-imposed focus on a single genre, I learn and that's the most important thing anyone can do in life. Sure, it might seem like a shallow and superfluous venture. But like everything else, the experience is what you make of it...

This experience in particular teaches you the value of a change of pants.