Halloween Horror Marathon: Once more...Into the Breach!!

It dawned on me recently that after 5 years in a row of marathon-ing several hundred horror movies, I haven't actually taken the time to parse through the load and point to the ones worth recommending. So as I sit through Scream 4 again (which would never be on any such list if I'm writing it), I'll also take a minute to look back on the years past for the best (or, let's be honest, passable/watchable) movies I experienced. Let's get underway, shall we?

1. The Sentinel - This was the first decent and creepy movie I saw, and I really can't think of anything bad to say about it.
2. The Fog (1980) - You could do A LOT worse, and that's why it gets a recommendation.
3. Prince of Darkness (John Carpenter) - A solid enough effort from Carpenter that's completely under the radar and worth a look for the uninitiated.
4. Graduation Day - Watch this for an appearance from a young Vanna White.
5. R.O.T.: Reunion of Terror - This movie gains a recommendation solely because of how fucking stupid it is...
6. Five Across the Eyes - This movie is an endurance test. Scratch that. It's THE endurance test! If you can make it to the end, you're ready for anything.
7. In The Mouth of Madness - Another little-known title from John Carpenter that deserves a viewing.
8. Trick 'r Treat - Far from flawless, it's still a valiant effort.
9. Hell Night - This movie introduced me to a new favorite slasher movie character in the proto-William Zabka form of "Seth." That guy made the movie for me.

   

   And ladies...what's left of him is single...
   

10. Popcorn - This was a lot of fun, and a loving nod to '50's-'60's era b-movies from the '80's.
11. Hatchet - The movie's mission statement is obvious: the creation of a new horror icon in the vein of Jason Vorhees. Right down to Kane Hodder's casting, really. I didn't like it much, but that doesn't mean you won't.
12. The Legend of Hell House - An engaging little haunted house story. You can't go wrong.
13. The Others - What did I just say...? Well, that...again.
14. The Burning - It's always fun to see a forgotten slasher from the '80's. Even BETTER when it has a well-quaffed Jason Alexander and a rapey Fisher Stevens gettin' it to the jugular...
15. Maniac! - If you watch this from beginning to end, then you will have made it through a movie that Gene Siskel walked out on after 30 minutes! I will always see that as bragging rights...
16. Troll Hunter - Not exactly a horror movie in retrospect, but this is how you should make a found footage movie.
17. Death Row - It stars Todd Bridges and Joe Estevez.
18. The Lost Boys: The Thirst - This movie sucks as a solo viewing experience. But it is entertaining and hilarious with friends, especially as an attempted commentary on Twilight...No, really!
19. The Burrowers - An old west monster movie with decent performances
20. 3...Extremes - A trio of Asian horror shorts (one of which is a clipped version of Dumplings that's slightly more effective) that only proves beyond any doubt that Chan Wook Park is a superior film maker to Takashi Miike. I STILL STAND BEHIND THIS STATEMENT!
21. The Comedy of Terrors - Vincent Price...comedic performance...Yeah, I know! Need I say more?
22. John Boorman's film of Exorcist II: The Heretic - Wanna know what a fiasco looks like on celluloid? Here it is...

    

    Pictured here: How you feel watching this alone.

23. Basket Case - This is an interesting and ambitious project that is very deserving of its cult status, and even more deserving of a viewing.
24. Blood Monkey - F. Murray Abraham is the only reason ANY of this worked. He and Christopher Lloyd (as evidenced by Piranha 3D) should do a movie like this together...
25. Monster - It REALLY is the Cloverfield knock-off that *you* could make in about 5 minutes...and that's why you and a group of friends should see this.
26. Terror Vision - So thoroughly '80's that its Dayglow sleeve turns to gold lamay while swimming in a pool of New Coke as it listens to Winger and Rocky IV plays on a floor model TV on a betamax player. Truly Outrageous.
27. Exorcismus - Not too bad. Not exactly a worthy contender for The Exorcist, but certainly better than Dominion...
28. Puppet Master - The concept is there, if nothing else. This is the kind of movie that genuinely SHOULD be remade now that technology has caught up with the original ambition.
29. Dead Snow - Is it good? No! Is it fun? Quite, especially with friends.
30. Them - This French thriller improves on The Strangers in the way of legitimate tension.
31. Them! - Though sensibilities are completely different today, this is definitely worth a look as a quintessential B-movie from that era.
32. Henry: Portrait of a Killer - If you have any interest in the genre, especially as a film-maker, you NEED to see this.
33. Theater of Blood - The concept alone propels it. A bad actor takes his revenge on the critics he feels wronged him.
34. Creature - A knock-off of Alien, which in and of itself is unremarkable as there are A LOT of Alien knock-offs. But how many have Klaus Kinski in them...?
35. The Devil Within Her - That we live in a world where this movie exists honestly will be enough to make you smile...
36. New Year's Evil - The theme song is awesome and the movie itself is solid.
37. I Spit on Your Grave - Let me be clear: I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS TO EVERYBODY! That said, enter this exploitation at your own risk. That is probably not the best choice of words...
38. Apartment 143 - Looking back on it, this isn't bad. But you would be better off not comparing it to things like Paranormal Activity. Even better if you didn't have that frame of reference to begin with...
39. The Innkeepers - Ti West generally does not disappoint.

    

    "Hello. So, what're you doing later? I'm up for whatever..."

40. Jack's Back - This is gonna get a suggestion FOR the red herrings.
41. Snakes on a Train - I never thought I'd be saying this, but...Snakes on a Train delivers in ways that Snakes on a Plane doesn't even approach.
42. Yoga - This one's legitimately creepy and discomforting when it needs to be. I just hope you don't have a thing for Korean women...
43. Giallo - It's serviceable, and largely inoffensive. Therefore, worth a shot...
44. Bloody Reunion - It'll keep you invested for sure.
45. Cinderella - There really was no shortage of Korean movies on Netflix. But again with the hanging!?! Goddamnit...
46. Baby Shower - C'mon, Spanish horror...Don't let me down...Thank you. That's all I ask.
47. The New Daughter - "Oh! Before we forget, MONSTERS!!!"
48. The Caller - It's funny. The one decent movie I've seen with an actor from Twilight in it, and it's the one they fired because she dared to do films outside of the franchise...

    

    "Yep. I was in the callbacks for Edward, but I don't need that kinda stress in my life..."

49. The Reeds - A decent little English ghost story that's worth a Saturday afternoon.
50. Atrocious - What if [REC] had Paranormal Activity's pace...? Wait, no. Make that Blair Witch...I can say that the reveal is a little better.
51. Wake Wood - An effective tale that out-creeps Pet Semetary.
52. Zombies of Mass Destruction - There is a scene in this movie where a Middle Eastern man clearly nearing retirement age goes on a rampage. You are welcome.
53. Aaah! Zombies!! - The concept is novel, campy, and well-executed.
54. Burnt Offerings - Any time spent watching Oliver Reed freak out is time well-spent.
55. Paranormal Activity 3 - It's better than the second one...
56. Mum and Dad - You'll mostly be upset that you didn't watch this sooner.
57. Black Rat - A very Japanese revenge slasher that takes itself about as seriously as an Adult Swim show to a degree.

    

    The ONLY way that mask becomes menacing

58. Night of the Hunted - The mystery will keep you engaged, but MAN is this movie French...
59. Absentia - Another solid title just floating under the radar.
60. Cornered - Guttenberg...
61. Exit Humanity - Civil War-era zombies, good performances, Steve McHattie, and narration from Brian Cox...check it out.
62. Bay of Blood - The ending makes the whole film worth it...
63. Deadgirl - I'm not sure what to say about this movie other than watch it, so do that...
64. The Gate - Seriously, this really is every 80's parents' absurd, nightmarish myths put on celluloid. But it's also genuinely engaging and surprising for a kids's horror film (something you don't really see these days). Alternate title: Dorff does Demons.
65. Black Sunday - A classic horror story with an atmospheric chill tha--Seriously, I know a girl that looks EXACTLY like the lead actress. It's so distracting...not derailing though.
66. Hunger - Another "sadistic mastermind concocts a test of will for a group of people in a small enclosed area" movie...except good. And not baiting for a sequel...So, better than Saw.
67. The Manster - Time-traveling William H. Macy...

    

    No comment needed

68. The Cabin in the Woods - FUCKING BUY THIS ALREADY!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS!!?!?
69. Intruders - A solid and well-paced supernatural thriller that there's little to no chance you've seen or heard of.
70. Don't Look Now - They were totally doin' it...
71. Resolution - I think I'm really developing an appreciation for the slow-burn because this really worked for me. The performances are very honest and engaging, and the ending really cements the uneasy tone.
72. Rats: Night of Terror - I haven't laughed that hard at anything I've seen. A zombie movie with rats in the place of the undead that ends on a note that you can't help but laugh at uncontrollably.

    

    Go ahead. Try to keep a straight face.

73. The Hamiltons - Where and HOW did you find a budget Rose McGowan that's NOT Rose McGowan...?
74. Hansel and Gretel - Et tu, Korea? And why is this child wearing so much make-up? Seriously, this movie balances creepiness and cuteness just enough to work.
75. The Beyond - Fulci just HATES faces...especially eyes!

    

    What the hell, man...?

76. Maniac (2012) - This is the series finale of Wilfred. I'm sure of it.
77. Terror Tract - "Buff Bagwell AND Bryan Cranston vs. a monkey!?! I'm in!!" - What YOU'LL say after reading this...
78. Haxan - Next time you're throwing a Halloween party, just play scenes from this on a loop in the background. I promise someone will ask "What the fuck is this!?" every 5-10 minutes.
79. Kuroneko - Gotta hand it to old Japanese film-makers. They will literally build a set to burn that fucker down...
80. Pieces - I'm actually glad I missed a house party months ago just so I can watch this now. That cop's mustache makes it all worth it!!
81. You're Next - I waited over a year to see this. Was it worth it...? Yeah. Solid little thrill-ride, this.
82. The Sacrament - I feel confident in saying that Ti West is becoming a name you can trust in this genre. It helps you know a lot less about Jonestown though...
83. Dead Within - A zombie movie without the zombies...that focuses on a building case of cabin fever? Alright, I'll take it.
84. Stage Fright - At least now I know what Minnie Driver's been up to these days...in the 2nd horror-musical in a row for me. This one has a "sense of humor" about it though...and Meatloaf.
85. Detention - This is the Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World of horror, AND Joseph Kahn took a swipe at Torque...You need to see this!!
    
86. Insidious: Chapter 2 - Patrick Wilson's record remains intact...
87. Plus One - She's right about you, dude. You kinda suck...This concept doesn't though.
88. Rigor Mortis - Oh man! It's gonna be THAT kinda movie, isn't it!? Go ahead and watch this already!
89. Grave Encounters - Yeah, I never liked Ghost Hunters either...
90. Grave Encounters 2 - The point of a sequel is to reveal things to the audience that they didn't know or see in the previous film. This movie does that...while crossing a threshold that may make or break everything for you.
91. Mine Games (aka The Evil Within) - Ha-ha, I see what you did there, movie title...
92. Grabbers - Even Ireland has a Wilhelm!
93. The Taking of Deborah Logan - Recognizable actors in your found footage movie takes me right outta things. Helps if you've never seen Mad About You...but that's life advice.
94. Creep - This is the logical conclusion of a "Cable Guy" scenario, isn't it...? Except that response. The hell are you thinkin'!?

    

    Seems inviting...

95. The Babadook - I've heard "You're nothing" as a defense against a monster 3 times now. 2 outta 3 ain't bad.
96. The Nightmare - Why is Rodney Ascher not directing narrative-driven horror film?
97. Infini - That's BMX gear, guys. Batman would not approve...
98. Plague - Fuck you, John.
99. Stonehearst Asylum - Kingsley is the perfect fit here, even if the script leaves no mystery to the proceedings.
100. The Lazarus Effect - This never ends well. Didn't you see Return of the Living Dead 3!?
101. Teeth - This is totally self-aware...and 10 minutes in, and Brad has yet to wear a shirt!
102. Last Phases - Yep, that's Ginger! And I always thought Gilligan would the death of you...
103. The House at the End of Time - Piss-filled balloons is the point at which I might consider hitting a kid...
104. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones - You were about to get Raw-dog'd by a high school grad in the abandoned apartment of a murdered cultist. Rethink your life choices.
105. Comforting Skin - The casualty in this movie will be most unexpected...
106. Wes Craven's New Nightmare - Stop hanging up on everybody, Heather! Damn...
107. The Descent - Finally, a reason to not be mad at Lion's Gate!!
108. Kristy - You don't even have to ask who hurt this writer...

Believe me, there's more to come where these came from but then I'd be getting outside of the frame of the marathons. But within that frame, these are the titles that I unquestionably recommend. Not necessarily because they are all "scary," but because they are an interesting experience and/or well-made. There are others I could toss into the ring as well, but a lot of it wanders into the area of "creme of the crap." For those movies, a separate list is called for. Next time...

I gotta do work...