The Assholes Always Lose

For some reason, I don't ever see myself writing for some other site as a very likely possibility. Actually, the reason is probably that I'm primarily an opinionated jackass. Which means, of course, that I naturally don't know when to shut up at times. Good thing I've got this outlet. Otherwise, I might have to start drinking...

At least then I'd have an excuse for wearing this cape...

That being the case, I still seem to be better about putting my foot in my mouth (both literally and figuratively) than even I would expect. And I know this because I realized one simple truth in life over my limited years: You don't always decide where the line is drawn.

It's not hard to see how this is the case. After all, that's simply how day-to-day life works...but everything gets distorted through the filters of media. The internet in particular may seem like a perfectly innocuous bastion of listicles and cats, but in truth is a festering hive of negativity and narcissism.

I KNOW!!

But there's far more to our existence than the bland dichotomy of "Everything is Awesome!" and "Everything is Terrible." Yet interactions online would have you think otherwise. Not the casual or familiar ones, but rather the random encounters with most media outlets and their respective comments sections. That is where we see the heights (or depths, really) of insensitivity. As do we also see certain frequently-used words and phrases, which raises a question:

Has anyone using the term "PC," "politically correct," or "social justice" in a negative light ever not been an asshole?

You see this a LOT these days. Usually in quick correlation to "censorship" and any permutation of events that could be misconstrued as such. It tends to amount to bellyaching about imagined bellyaching, but it's also misguided on a number of levels. I would dare say that it's a bit ignorant and hypocritical too for reasons that I totally plan to point out. Of course, that's gonna require a clear explanation of what free speech and censorship *really* are first.

Let me start with a statement that may be off-putting to some, but still needs to be clearly stated: You have not been censored and your freedom of speech was not violated, you fucking baby!

You're not owed a Twitter account, you shit!

Here's the deal: While many have misinterpreted the First Amendment, the concept of free speech, and how it actually applies, the fact of the matter is the protection of free speech absolutely does also apply to speech that we may disagree with or find objectionable. Where far too many people in recent years have completely missed the mark is in assuming that they have any right to be offended that someone else is offended. Even worse, they think that being offensive grants them some sort of virtue or moral high ground as well as a general claim to superiority. Well, let me further clarify something for those who feel that way...No. Nope. Not even. What it makes you is offensive. You're not clever. You're not stronger. You're not smarter. And you might be nothing more than a mediocre asshole.

Totally unrelated image. I swear.

The confusion seems to stem from conflating freedom of speech with freedom from consequences. Now, to clarify matters surrounding the concept of freedom of speech requires looking into then past the 1st Amendment as that only applies to the United States. Even then, the idea that consequences for speech are a violation of that freedom is at best delusional. There are forms of speech that the 1st Amendment doesn't even protect, and with good reason due to the potential effects of said speech. The popular example is yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater as originally pointed out by Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes. That's an example of speech that could incite "imminent lawless action," or in more layman's terms an immediately dangerous and violent turn of events. What this amounts to is a form of direct consequence for the things someone can or has said on a macro scale. A smaller scale example could be that time you said your girlfriend had a "fat laugh." She didn't appreciate that. That's why she's breaking up with you.

Pictured here: The face she's been giving you for 2 months

But before we get into how you haven't gone out in months or how much her friends actually hate you, we need to stay focused! There's a major difference between the consequences for inciting a riot and your failing relationship, and that's government intervention. Inciting a riot could land you a prison sentence seeing as you did recklessly endanger others through your actions. Insulting or offending someone won't necessarily get you arrested, but then you're also not protected from them telling you to go fuck yourself...like your girlfriend did.

You didn't know!? How did you not see this coming...?

That is freedom of association, which technically isn't mentioned in the 1st Amendment but would be protected by it. It's a term used pertaining to the right of individuals to choose who or what they are associated with and why. If you can choose the religion you practice, then it stands to reason that you can decide on the company you keep. I mean, what sense would it make for anyone to be capable of using the law to make you affiliate with them or their cause or stay in a loveless relationship. Her words, not mine.

Seriously, you really screwed up this time.

To use familiar phrasing, you're not entitled to interaction. That extends to an audience for your thoughts and opinions. No one has to hear you out. We just choose to, and we can subsequently choose to continue listening or not. But here's the killer: If you've offended someone with your expressed thoughts or opinions, they can express the opinion that you are a pile of shit.

That's the other person in this equation exercising their freedom of speech and association in the same way as you. In fact, they've advanced a step ahead of you by hearing your opinion and taking the time to retort. And technically, you can absolutely voice the opinion that their rejection displeases you...but you don't really have a right to be offended anymore than they have a right to not be offended. And in no way is their calling you out for views that they don't agree with a form of censorship. If it is an attempt to silence you, then isn't your (false) claim of oppression the same thing? After all, the only result of doing so is not to further the discussion but to end it while shifting culpability for who offended who. And that's only an effort to salvage one's own self-image by making the other person out to be a major asshole instead of you.

But it's still you. It was always you.

This reaction is poisonous to any hope for a fruitful discourse because instead of learning enough to form better arguments, it dishonestly claims victory thanks to that imaginary high-ground I mentioned earlier. It's an embarrassing example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect at work, and when that extends to social issues, it becomes a common practice to dismiss and subsequently dehumanize those we disagree with. And that's how you wind up making embarrassing displays of your own ignorance.

How does one petition "universities" exactly?

If you need any more proof that this mentality is delusional, embarrassing, and put frankly dangerous...Well...

I call this a "smug shrug"...

With every utterance from his mouth and every tweet his handlers rush to delete OR desperately justify, Donald Trump has come to embody oblivious ineptitude. If his performance in the presidential debates weren't indication enough, try sifting through the mountains of erroneous white supremacist retweets. Or parse the fact that he has actively denied statements that he made on-record even within an hour of saying them. No, really. That takes a lack of self-awareness so thorough that it almost makes it seem possible to come full-circle to a form of brilliance. Now, none of this would be too much to concern ourselves with ordinarily. There have been plenty of dangerously incompetent presidential candidates before. But then...

Yeah, this isn't good...and it's pretty embarrassing. We officially have to address this, and call this bullshit for what it is. That means you can take your think-pieces about listening to working-class white America and cram it right up your pretentious and cowardly ass. That line of thought would have some substance if the point of disagreement was on a matter like fiscal responsibility or trade agreements. Not whether or not Mexicans are criminals and rapists, or if Muslims should be denied entry to the United States. When it comes to any form of bigotry, there is no agreeing to disagree. If your worldview posits any group of people as superior or inferior, then you are simply wrong. Did you miss the bit about being a mediocre asshole? Well, now we've come full-circle!

Okay, this image is undeniably related.

Ignorance is not a virtue, nor is insensitivity. If you have some center of basic decency, then it should bother you that the only way to not find fault in this kind of hypocrisy is being the most loathsome and dishonest of shit-lords. But judging by the results of this election, it feels safe to say that indifference has overtaken decency in many. Oh, there's still compassion. But that compassion is directed inward to those most like ourselves by far too many, and that's not how compassion works. All I ask is that you admit you're an asshole if that's gonna be the approach you take. Then the rest of us can know to dismiss your assessments of the world as nothing but the self-serving bullshit it is.

See ya' later, fuckers!!