- I had never been to a live wrestling event before this one, and I've not written specifically about an event before either.
- I don't generally follow TNA Impact, so many of the wrestlers, stories, etc. are a little new to me.
With that said, let's talk about this show...and TNA by extension.
TNA Impact Wrestling Presents The Road to Lockdown Tour(...as experienced by someone that's only watched TNA once in the past 5 years)
My friends and I arrived a couple of minutes late, but we got to our seats (which were surprisingly good) for the opening match of the night-- A handicap match pitting a couple of jobbers up against Ethan "EC3" Carter III. The tiny British guy in the ring does a really good job of generating heat from the crowd, who I have to say stayed engaged for the better portion of the event as a whole. There is always guaranteed to be at least one stand-out audience member at every live event I go to, and this one had three.
TNA Impact Wrestling Presents The Road to Lockdown Tour(...as experienced by someone that's only watched TNA once in the past 5 years)
My friends and I arrived a couple of minutes late, but we got to our seats (which were surprisingly good) for the opening match of the night-- A handicap match pitting a couple of jobbers up against Ethan "EC3" Carter III. The tiny British guy in the ring does a really good job of generating heat from the crowd, who I have to say stayed engaged for the better portion of the event as a whole. There is always guaranteed to be at least one stand-out audience member at every live event I go to, and this one had three.
- A colorful gent in a foam cowboy hat who was on his feet for the entire run of the 2-hour show.
- A woman nearing retirement age to our immediate left who was so vocal and energetic that she simultaneously reminded that I was in the South and why I kinda love it.
- My buddy Jeremy--details on that here and there as we go along...
Back to the match. The two no-names are berated by the lil' Brit as he sets the stage for the handicap match. Now, I'm not that familiar with EC3 but I know enough to know that the guy can do his own heavy-lifting on the mic. This already doesn't bode too well, and what followed was less than memorable for the most part. One of the two guys did an excellent at selling and bumping throughout the match, and I truly wish I could remember his name to commend him for the work he did in this match. The other half of this team was notably responsible for the biggest whiffs and botches, but I still credit his enthusiasm.
The match came to what felt like an abrupt end just as the tag team was seemingly building momentum. How abrupt, you ask? I looked down to punctuate a note I was making on said match only to look up and see that Ethan Carter III was being announced the winner. I don't even know what he did to win the match, and knowing that he's going into a match against Kurt Angle at the next PPV, I wasn't invested enough to care since it was obvious that he would win somehow anyway.
At any rate, Carter clears the stage (I come from theatre...deal with it) and the abrasive British chap lays into the defeated tag team in a chauvinistic rant that lets me know that one of the female wrestlers on the roster was sure to come out and kick his ass. Sure enough, ODB appears and challenges the tiny man to a match.* Now, from what I can gather, ODB's gimmick (and I'm guessing my friend Jeremy was right in assuming that this stands for "Ol' Dirty Bitch") is drinking and having breasts. Maybe somewhere in this simplicity lies genius, but I'm not seeing it. What I did see was one of the gentlest Bronco Busters my eyes have ever witnessed. It really read to me like an effort on her part not to hurt this guy. If there's a snag in the performance, I much prefer that kind to the polar opposite. Good on you, lady!
The next match sees a returning Kenny King taking on Samuel Shaw, who looks to have a very simple gimmick as well: "I'm Dexter." I can see this guy's angle changing further down the line if for not other reason than the fact that this has a very short shelf-life. And nothing made that more clear than King's attempt to get a "creepy bastard" chant started falling on deaf ears. This is rooted in the current story-line involving Shaw obsessing over Christy Hemme, and the people sitting closer to ringside even seemed to know this and still didn't care enough to keep the chant going for longer than 10-15 seconds. That also tells me that Shaw's current finisher (an arm triangle choke) will have to change as well since it is perfectly suited for this character. Despite losing, Kenny King put on the most athletically impressive show of the night. Tough Enough season 2 picked the wrong winner...then again, I said that at the time The match was fairly heavy rest-holds overall, but the highlight was a jump spinning high kick (gamengiri) from King that was both delivered and sold so perfectly that it sent a wave of energy through the arena...that would immediately be killed by the "Columbia Street Fight" between Gunner and "Cowboy" James Storm.
I know nothing about Gunner other than the fact that he's apparently a veteran of the Iraq War. I don't even know which one! And I only know that much because I was told along with the rest of the audience before the rather meh-tacular brawl that took place. This was further cemented by his demand that the audience recite the pledge of allegiance. The man is a cheap pop in the bland TNA-casing of greasy dark hair and a beard. Seriously, half their roster needs to either invest in hair dye, cut their hair, or shave. But I digress...the street fight was essentially a lukewarm hardcore match from late-era WCW with spectacular props such "plastic trash can" and "broom handle." I'm not exaggerating. That's all there was. After a bit of brawling around the ring, things settled inside the ring long enough for Gunner to hit a diving headbutt for the pin.
Earl Hebner was celebrating his 100,000th match. I sincerely hope that was not it...
That leads us into our main event of the evening: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray in a steel cage!!! Two out of three falls!! Does that sound like an unforgettable showdown? You know my asking you this means it wasn't, right?
*sigh* Everyone could stand to learn a thing or two from Kenny King and Samuel Shaw about in-ring psychology. For anyone reading this that has no idea what I mean by that, allow me to explain briefly. Pro wrestling is performance art when you get down to brass tax, and the matches themselves are much like fight choreography in a play or movie. They tell stories in and of themselves, and everything should aid in building towards the finish. The best matches are the ones that get the crowd invested in their surface-level believability. This match was crap.
Bully Ray attacks Anderson from behind before the bell, cuts a minor promo and drags his opponent into the ring. Anderson then proceeds to lie on the floor for 95% of the match.
The only high point came after Anderson got his first pinfall via surprise schoolboy roll-up. Hebner does a noticeably fast count, and Jeremy shouts "THIS ISN'T MONTREAL, EARL!! WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'!!?!" Biggest laugh of the night in our general vicinity...these were true wrestling fans.
Eventually Anderson gets up long enough to hit a Russian leg-sweep and get the winning pin.
A lousy finish to a lousy match. He then extends his hand for a shake to Bully Ray. This wasn't some hard-fought match where bitter rivals earned each other's respect, so this set-up is bullshit. Anderson hits the Mic Check (a reverse STO--think a backwards "Rock Bottom") after Bully attempts to sucker punch him. This wasn't a legit post-match wrap-up. This was compensation...
I'll give Anderson credit on this: after the match, he finds a kid in the front row and asks him to announce the winner. I'm sure that made that boy's week. I would say that overall, TNA does all that they can to give their audience their money's worth. They keep the show running at a steady pace. They directly engage the crowd and offer access to the participating talent in frequent intervals. They even teased the idea of having the next stop in Columbia be for the purpose of a pay-per-view event. I'm not buyin' it (layered joke, that one), but it's the thought that counts.
*--At one point, the guy mocks humping ODB from behind which prompts her to mock the size of his manhood. This led to Jeremy starting the most unique chant of the night which I won't share here because the man IS a father and gainfully employed.
The match came to what felt like an abrupt end just as the tag team was seemingly building momentum. How abrupt, you ask? I looked down to punctuate a note I was making on said match only to look up and see that Ethan Carter III was being announced the winner. I don't even know what he did to win the match, and knowing that he's going into a match against Kurt Angle at the next PPV, I wasn't invested enough to care since it was obvious that he would win somehow anyway.
At any rate, Carter clears the stage (I come from theatre...deal with it) and the abrasive British chap lays into the defeated tag team in a chauvinistic rant that lets me know that one of the female wrestlers on the roster was sure to come out and kick his ass. Sure enough, ODB appears and challenges the tiny man to a match.* Now, from what I can gather, ODB's gimmick (and I'm guessing my friend Jeremy was right in assuming that this stands for "Ol' Dirty Bitch") is drinking and having breasts. Maybe somewhere in this simplicity lies genius, but I'm not seeing it. What I did see was one of the gentlest Bronco Busters my eyes have ever witnessed. It really read to me like an effort on her part not to hurt this guy. If there's a snag in the performance, I much prefer that kind to the polar opposite. Good on you, lady!
The next match sees a returning Kenny King taking on Samuel Shaw, who looks to have a very simple gimmick as well: "I'm Dexter." I can see this guy's angle changing further down the line if for not other reason than the fact that this has a very short shelf-life. And nothing made that more clear than King's attempt to get a "creepy bastard" chant started falling on deaf ears. This is rooted in the current story-line involving Shaw obsessing over Christy Hemme, and the people sitting closer to ringside even seemed to know this and still didn't care enough to keep the chant going for longer than 10-15 seconds. That also tells me that Shaw's current finisher (an arm triangle choke) will have to change as well since it is perfectly suited for this character. Despite losing, Kenny King put on the most athletically impressive show of the night. Tough Enough season 2 picked the wrong winner...then again, I said that at the time The match was fairly heavy rest-holds overall, but the highlight was a jump spinning high kick (gamengiri) from King that was both delivered and sold so perfectly that it sent a wave of energy through the arena...that would immediately be killed by the "Columbia Street Fight" between Gunner and "Cowboy" James Storm.
I know nothing about Gunner other than the fact that he's apparently a veteran of the Iraq War. I don't even know which one! And I only know that much because I was told along with the rest of the audience before the rather meh-tacular brawl that took place. This was further cemented by his demand that the audience recite the pledge of allegiance. The man is a cheap pop in the bland TNA-casing of greasy dark hair and a beard. Seriously, half their roster needs to either invest in hair dye, cut their hair, or shave. But I digress...the street fight was essentially a lukewarm hardcore match from late-era WCW with spectacular props such "plastic trash can" and "broom handle." I'm not exaggerating. That's all there was. After a bit of brawling around the ring, things settled inside the ring long enough for Gunner to hit a diving headbutt for the pin.
Earl Hebner was celebrating his 100,000th match. I sincerely hope that was not it...
That leads us into our main event of the evening: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray in a steel cage!!! Two out of three falls!! Does that sound like an unforgettable showdown? You know my asking you this means it wasn't, right?
*sigh* Everyone could stand to learn a thing or two from Kenny King and Samuel Shaw about in-ring psychology. For anyone reading this that has no idea what I mean by that, allow me to explain briefly. Pro wrestling is performance art when you get down to brass tax, and the matches themselves are much like fight choreography in a play or movie. They tell stories in and of themselves, and everything should aid in building towards the finish. The best matches are the ones that get the crowd invested in their surface-level believability. This match was crap.
Bully Ray attacks Anderson from behind before the bell, cuts a minor promo and drags his opponent into the ring. Anderson then proceeds to lie on the floor for 95% of the match.
 |
| It was this, or on his back...there's a prostitution joke in there if you want it bad enough. |
Eventually Anderson gets up long enough to hit a Russian leg-sweep and get the winning pin.
I'll give Anderson credit on this: after the match, he finds a kid in the front row and asks him to announce the winner. I'm sure that made that boy's week. I would say that overall, TNA does all that they can to give their audience their money's worth. They keep the show running at a steady pace. They directly engage the crowd and offer access to the participating talent in frequent intervals. They even teased the idea of having the next stop in Columbia be for the purpose of a pay-per-view event. I'm not buyin' it (layered joke, that one), but it's the thought that counts.
*--At one point, the guy mocks humping ODB from behind which prompts her to mock the size of his manhood. This led to Jeremy starting the most unique chant of the night which I won't share here because the man IS a father and gainfully employed.
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