Gaming Needs to Grow Up, or That Time an LGBT Advocate/Gamer Called Me a "Faggot"

I don't consider myself an internet troll. I am, however, an asshole. I'll explain.

A face that says "See you next Tuesday" like no other, amirite?

At any given point in my life, I have been labeled as such after having said what ultimately amounts to the truth. The problem? This person (or people) did not want to hear it, or at the least not from me. So, that (among other things) makes me an asshole. I'm kinda okay with that. I'm not, however, okay with the general trajectory that one of my favorite pastimes is taking: Gaming.

The Scream Franchise: A Metatextual Success by way of Cinematic Failure

Let me start out by saying that I legitimately like Wes Craven's 1996 "classic" Scream. However, I put classic in quotes because I'm not delusional and this movie carries no nostalgic weight for me. This isn't just coming from the point of view of a former film studies minor, but someone that went into the entire franchise with something that a lot of younger fans didn't: context. I know the references, the "rules", and the tropes that Scream both adheres to and defies effectively. That's why I know that the movie is a really good slasher flick. It doesn't turn the genre on its ear. It didn't change the game in any way that so many misguided critics seem to think it did. It's just an effective slasher movie that's aware of other slasher movies.

That said, this series is a piece of shit.

Awww...you seem sad...

Don't get me wrong. I would say that of pretty much EVERY series of horror films as they all seem to lose sight of themselves at one point or another to such a degree that the idea of a horror franchise should be seen as undesirable. Friday, Nightmare, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, they all start out strong and/or inspired in one way or another but then piss it down their legs. Whether it be druids, time travel, psychics, a trip to outer space, failed attempts at passing the torch, or a forced change of location, they all jump the shark. They have an Ewok moment. These franchises helped to establish the genre and the tropes that Scream so readily plays with, but they are the reason that the sequels to Scream have no excuse for being the self-indulgent, misguided, repetitive, and toothless failures that they are. I obviously don't mean that from a financial perspective 'cause there wouldn't be 3 sequels if these movies bombed. No, I intend to point out where Scream 2, 3, and 4 completely shit the bed. But to do that, I have to explain why the first movie works.

So, again in the lead-up to my annual horror marathon in October, I will re-watch the Scream movies one-by-one and assess as objectively as I can what went right, wrong, and how. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, of course. Next time we meet on the matter, we look at the only worthwhile movie Wes Craven has made in decades...Red Eye. I'm clearly kidding. Later, folks!

My Thoughts on Twilight...ALL of Them

*Note*-- This was originally written in '09 just after New Moon had hit theaters. I didn't alter the text, but did dress things up a bit. Keep that context in mind as you read this.

This issue was honestly behind me, but then I re-visited the movie (thanks Rifftrax, some movies DO have it comin’…) and with the release of the second film installment upon us (in much the same way that H1N1 is "upon us") it brought back all of the thoughts that plagued me before. I am not a fan of this franchise, and there's no way anyone could mistake me for one especially if you’ve talked to me or read my review of the first movie.* But there are a few things that generally irk the shit out of me when it comes to all things Twilight that go beyond the quality of the film. The movie(s) will factor in though since it was my first exposure to this media juggernaut that has the kind of undeserved popularity rivaled only by Dane Cook. So bear with me as I elaborate point-by-point here. I do fear redundancy as many of the things that don’t add up have a tendency to overlap. However the intention behind this note is simple. This is the end. I plan to address every aspect to this franchise as thoroughly as I can, and then be done with it once and for all. This isn’t meant to invalidate your position in any way, but chances are I will likely cover whatever there is to discuss. With that said, here we go…