So...About This CM Punk Thing...

When I started this blog, I never intended for it to become an exclusively pro-wrestling/sports entertainment opinion page. It's not now, and it won't be but I feel like that needed to be acknowledged before I got into this entry. I also feel it necessary to state that I am a CM Punk fan.

Judging by the number of views this has, there are quite a few of us...

I Went to a TNA Impact House Show...I Have Thoughts

There are a number of things that I need to share with anyone reading this up front for the sake of context. Luckily, it's not a large number so you can bear with me.

• I had never been to a live wrestling event before this one, and I've not written specifically about an event before either.
• I don't generally follow TNA Impact, so many of the wrestlers, stories, etc. are a little new to me.

With that said, let's talk about this show...and TNA by extension.

TNA Impact Wrestling Presents The Road to Lockdown Tour(...as experienced by someone that's only watched TNA once in the past 5 years)

The 10 Quintessential Fight Scenes in Martial Arts Cinema...According to Some Guy

I think Tony Jaa is probably a really nice guy...but he's not gonna be on this list ANYWHERE. Let's get that outta the way now. If that bothers you, have a dance party and forget your troubles!* For the rest of us, you're likely here because you love martial arts movies as much as I do if not more. But this isn't a pissing contest. Besides, I'd totally win that too...

The reason why I don't like most Tony Jaa fights is because I never feel as though there are any stakes. His athleticism is amazing, but I never feel as though there is anyone that can match that in his movies. As a result, I feel like I'm just waiting for him to win. That's not what makes a good fight scene. It's more than just the skill and athletic prowess on display that pulls us into a good fight. It's tension, and that comes from characters facing what is clearly a challenge to them. For that reason, you're probably not gonna see a lot of "one guy takes on countless thugs" scenes. But brace yourself for a lot of Hong Kong...

Presented in no particular order (some spoilers lie ahead...deal with it!):

Gaming Needs to Grow Up, or That Time an LGBT Advocate/Gamer Called Me a "Faggot"

I don't consider myself an internet troll. I am, however, an asshole. I'll explain.

A face that says "See you next Tuesday" like no other, amirite?

At any given point in my life, I have been labeled as such after having said what ultimately amounts to the truth. The problem? This person (or people) did not want to hear it, or at the least not from me. So, that (among other things) makes me an asshole. I'm kinda okay with that. I'm not, however, okay with the general trajectory that one of my favorite pastimes is taking: Gaming.

The Scream Franchise: A Metatextual Success by way of Cinematic Failure

Let me start out by saying that I legitimately like Wes Craven's 1996 "classic" Scream. However, I put classic in quotes because I'm not delusional and this movie carries no nostalgic weight for me. This isn't just coming from the point of view of a former film studies minor, but someone that went into the entire franchise with something that a lot of younger fans didn't: context. I know the references, the "rules", and the tropes that Scream both adheres to and defies effectively. That's why I know that the movie is a really good slasher flick. It doesn't turn the genre on its ear. It didn't change the game in any way that so many misguided critics seem to think it did. It's just an effective slasher movie that's aware of other slasher movies.

That said, this series is a piece of shit.

Awww...you seem sad...

Don't get me wrong. I would say that of pretty much EVERY series of horror films as they all seem to lose sight of themselves at one point or another to such a degree that the idea of a horror franchise should be seen as undesirable. Friday, Nightmare, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, they all start out strong and/or inspired in one way or another but then piss it down their legs. Whether it be druids, time travel, psychics, a trip to outer space, failed attempts at passing the torch, or a forced change of location, they all jump the shark. They have an Ewok moment. These franchises helped to establish the genre and the tropes that Scream so readily plays with, but they are the reason that the sequels to Scream have no excuse for being the self-indulgent, misguided, repetitive, and toothless failures that they are. I obviously don't mean that from a financial perspective 'cause there wouldn't be 3 sequels if these movies bombed. No, I intend to point out where Scream 2, 3, and 4 completely shit the bed. But to do that, I have to explain why the first movie works.

So, again in the lead-up to my annual horror marathon in October, I will re-watch the Scream movies one-by-one and assess as objectively as I can what went right, wrong, and how. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, of course. Next time we meet on the matter, we look at the only worthwhile movie Wes Craven has made in decades...Red Eye. I'm clearly kidding. Later, folks!

My Thoughts on Twilight...ALL of Them

*Note*-- This was originally written in '09 just after New Moon had hit theaters. I didn't alter the text, but did dress things up a bit. Keep that context in mind as you read this.

This issue was honestly behind me, but then I re-visited the movie (thanks Rifftrax, some movies DO have it comin’…) and with the release of the second film installment upon us (in much the same way that H1N1 is "upon us") it brought back all of the thoughts that plagued me before. I am not a fan of this franchise, and there's no way anyone could mistake me for one especially if you’ve talked to me or read my review of the first movie.* But there are a few things that generally irk the shit out of me when it comes to all things Twilight that go beyond the quality of the film. The movie(s) will factor in though since it was my first exposure to this media juggernaut that has the kind of undeserved popularity rivaled only by Dane Cook. So bear with me as I elaborate point-by-point here. I do fear redundancy as many of the things that don’t add up have a tendency to overlap. However the intention behind this note is simple. This is the end. I plan to address every aspect to this franchise as thoroughly as I can, and then be done with it once and for all. This isn’t meant to invalidate your position in any way, but chances are I will likely cover whatever there is to discuss. With that said, here we go…

Lots of Confusion; No Loss for Words...

I'm genuinely so confused, angry, saddened that I don't know where to start. My browser crashed the first time I started jotting down my thoughts, so this is draft #2. The worst part is that I'm still no closer to any meaningful answers or any understanding in general than I was before. Even more frightening is that I don't think I ever will be...

This isn't right.

That's the thought that keeps flooding my brain every time I try to process the Zimmerman verdict. You can try to justify the results by pointing to the evidence presented in the case, and it still doesn't change the fact that EVERYTHING in this case is just flat-out wrong. The very existence OF a case is wrong. That's what I don't think people in favor or accepting of this verdict truly understand. I don't even care who attacked who first. The fact of the matter is this: George Zimmerman never should've been following Trayvon Martin in the first place.*